I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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