Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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