I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
