We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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