There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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