I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have feelings that need drinking.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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