No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
