Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
