Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize