trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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