you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Semen is not good for contacts.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
