if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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