Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
