dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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