Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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