I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
