I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My penis needs a shock collar
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
