she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
how drunk are you?
Several
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
