I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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