ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My penis needs a shock collar
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
