ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
