Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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