If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
