My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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