I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
