You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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