I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
