I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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