I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
