He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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