Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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