I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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