There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
