I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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