Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
