Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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