I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
