i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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