What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
