i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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