I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
