Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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