the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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