I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
