we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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