I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
