he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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