Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
