I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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