my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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