winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
