Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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