there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
