Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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