the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
