I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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