It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize