So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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