she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we're making bets on your personal life
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
