i already hear my dad disowning me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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