Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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