Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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