She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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