I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
