Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
