i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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