He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
