I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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