Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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