it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
