this beer tastes like vomit already
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
