i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
