you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize