i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
